| Sunday, November 15th, 2009 |
| 10:48 pm |
Who what where
One of the main annoyances of growing old, apart from finding the occasional white nostril hair, is the double whammy of having more life experiences yet losing one's memory. It's frustrating when you suddenly remember a phrase and you can't remember which movie / cartoon character it's from. Or a melody and you can't remember which TV commercial it was used in. Or a familiar face that you can't place. Oh well, at least I can depend on my sense of smell to bring back memories of a person / place. It's amazing how a little whiff of scent can transport you back 5, 10 years. Scary. |
| Sunday, October 4th, 2009 |
| 8:37 pm |
This day last decade
10 years ago, I stepped into Room 201 of a drab grey building to start my first day at university. Anniversaries always get me thinking. Am I 10 years smarter? No. Am I 10 years better? No. (I am 10 kg heavier though). You know you're getting old when 10 years doesn't seem that long ago. My life is more or less the same - work / school from morning till about 4pm, maybe pop by the shops, go back to an empty apartment, cook, watch Top Gear, Friends, surf, chat and sleep. But 10 years IS a long time. 10 years ago, Ris Low was 9 years old - maybe someone then could have taught her how to speak English properly. Now that I think about it, the majority of the people I consider my close friends today - I didn't even know then. So here's to the next 10 years - let's hope it's not all downhill from here. |
| Tuesday, June 16th, 2009 |
| 8:50 pm |
Pay rise
You know you are underpaid when you see a Mclaren SLR in your staff car park... |
| Saturday, June 13th, 2009 |
| 3:21 pm |
Cleaners should not have body odour. Discuss. |
| Wednesday, February 11th, 2009 |
| 7:03 pm |
Return on Investment
Natwest spends about 40p in postage every month to tell me that I have earned 1p in interest. No wonder UK banks are bankrupt. |
| Sunday, February 1st, 2009 |
| 10:52 pm |
It's strange seeing your parents on Facebook... |
| Wednesday, December 31st, 2008 |
| 12:57 am |
As we trickle into the last hours of 2008, I wish everyone a decent 2009. It's not predicted to be good - but hey, as long as you make better use of it than the year before... Gong xi fa cai. Quote of the Day: "Why are they playing OLDIES?" (Debbie Gibson is how current!) |
| Thursday, December 4th, 2008 |
| 6:22 pm |
Double or Nothing
I noticed while window shopping in Marks & Spencer's (because I'm old) the other day that the majority of Christmas cards were either "Merry Christmas Mom" or "Merry Christmas Dad" - very few "Merry Christmas Mom & Dad". So are these Hallmark rip offs trying to make people buy 2 cards instead of 1 or is this a reflection of society today - more and more single parents? |
| Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008 |
| 9:16 pm |
I don't see how Dubai can be a first world country when my TV goes blank whenever it rains. |
| Wednesday, November 26th, 2008 |
| 7:40 pm |
Intelligence?
Why is it in all these CIA movies, when a dossier of secretly-taken photos is handed over, they're always in Black & White? Are we still in the 1940s? |
| Thursday, November 6th, 2008 |
| 10:11 pm |
While everyone was hard at work today, the smell of gas started wafting through the office. I, with my blocked morning nose, was the last to smell it. One colleague tried to look for the source of the gas, another called Maintenance and another went to tell the boss. Boss came out of his office saying, "Are you sure it's not just his (referring to me) aftershave?". Colleague eventually tracked down a security guard who suspected that there were contractors spraying the building with pesticides (could they not have waited 4 hours till the weekend??). At this point, two technicians appeared with a ladder and a screwdriver. Because in this land of un-trained workers, it seemed like they were going to, in my colleague's words, "screw the smell away". They opened up a vent and one stuck his head into the hole whereby another colleague offered, "is this their solution to getting rid of the smell? Sending a guy to BREATHE in all the gas? kinda like when you fart in a lift and think that if you breathe deeply enough, no one else will smell it.." Another colleague suggested we take an early lunch in case pesticides were really blowing through the aircon system since "the pesticides used in this country are probably not approved by any authority apart from Saddam Hussein's chemical weapons programme" Boy am I glad the weekends here. But I'm also glad I have such hilarious colleagues... |
| Friday, October 31st, 2008 |
| 11:47 pm |
Eggciting news
Why do eggs have expiry dates? Don't they only expire when you open your fridge and find chicks in there? Something tells me I've posted this before... |
| Friday, October 17th, 2008 |
| 7:17 pm |
Credit Crunch
I can tell the state of the global economy by the fact that my SPAM folder now contains more "Consolidate your debts" type emails than "Pleasure your lady with 2 more inches" type emails. |
| Saturday, October 11th, 2008 |
| 10:41 pm |
Because I'm bored
Been on 25 flights this year - flying a total of 112,000km. That's 2.75 times around the earth (at the equator). |
| Saturday, October 4th, 2008 |
| 4:45 pm |
Overheard at the lobby
Singaporean: What's the name of this hotel? Reception: Hotel Zeus Singaporean: Harh? Reception: Zeus Singaporean: Jews? Reception: Zee-use Singaporean: Orgh. Juice. Reception: Yes sir. |
| Wednesday, October 1st, 2008 |
| 3:55 pm |
You know you're getting old when you actually find shirts at Marks & Spencers quite nice. |
| Wednesday, September 10th, 2008 |
| 4:28 pm |
Earthquake
We had a power failure this afternoon in the office. Twice. And then an hour later, my desk moved and the floor started swaying and the ceiling started creaking and we realised it was an earthquake - probably in Iran. All in all, a fairly eventful afternoon. Colleague 1: Well, at least we know that our building is... Colleague 2: WOBBLY? Colleague 1: What next? A plague of locusts in the car park? |
| Tuesday, August 26th, 2008 |
| 10:47 pm |
Out of Pocket
I just sent my watch in for servicing. Why does servicing my watch cost more than servicing my CAR? |
| Saturday, August 9th, 2008 |
| 12:28 pm |
When (5) stars collide
The obligatory National Day Post I'm making myself comfortable, ready to watch the Parade starting in about an hour. Earlier today, I went to the supermarket and bought back lunch and snacks to see me through the afternoon. But it's not so easy. I can't press a button and get Channel 5's live broadcast on 42 inches of plasma on my living room wall. I can't run to the balcony to watch the F16s scream past or the fireworks. Going to the balcony immediately reminds you that you are not in Singapore. The hot shamal wind is blowing sand into your eyes, which are already melting from the 42 degree heat. The muezzin is calling the faithful to afternoon prayers. And 2 days ago, I turned down a request to be interviewed by the local newspaper. Mostly because I'm media shy, but mostly because I had this vision of being asked 'how are you planning to celebrate it?' and I didn't think it would be very impressive if I told them the truth and said 'well, i'll be hopefully be watching the live webcast on my laptop at home alone after making sure I've downloaded the required ActiveXFlashPlugInPlayer5.4.3.2...' Here's some interesting numbers - I've lived 100% of my adult life outside Singapore. 30% of my entire life. 20% of SINGAPORE'S entire life. I just read Adrian Tan's speech at NTU's convocation and although it smacked of Steve Jobs' , I was proud that such a strong, insightful, anti-establishment and humorous message could come from the mouth of a Singaporean (In case anyone hasn't read it, drop me a note and I'll forward it to you). "Don't aim to be average" is something that gave me some consolation. Singaporean life is pretty predictable. You go to a good school, do your national service, graduate, propose, buy a flat (or propose BY buying a flat), get married, pro-create and the cycle starts again. The first half of my life was pretty 'average' but then it kinda got derailed when I decided to live on a farm which subsequently led me to the desert. But when I eventually go back, wife-less, property-less, I'll be armed with life-changing experiences...but mostly useless information - how to pick up a hedgehog safely, the Shariah-compliant way to beat one's wife, the type of sand to avoid driving into, etc. I'll find it hard to fit in but I know, as Kit Chan tells me, that Singapore is home, truly. Right now, I have about 5 minutes left to try and figure out why the audio and video of the webcast are streaming at different speeds. Gong Xi Fa Cai! |
| Thursday, June 19th, 2008 |
| 2:36 pm |
Outbursts 2
"He looks like a chipmunk wearing underwear two sizes too small..." |
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