1ntrovert (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} 1ntrovert) wrote,@ 2008-05-12 22:15:00 |
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Ballet Rocks
At first, I thought I had stumbled upon a sure fire way to make money - stage a ballet. I had paid 41 euro to watch a ballet at the Bastille in Paris and all I could think of during the first 'part' was trying to estimate the revenues - 800 people paying an average of 30 euros each... 24,000 euros a night.
The costs seemed small, apart from the rental of the venue. There was not a single prop, just three dancers prancing around in one-piece swimsuits, a conductor and a small orchestra. And I was paying their rent.
What exactly is the point of ballet - to show how flexible you are? Sure, some of the stuff is pretty impressive and I did catch myself wondering how many times I can spin around when I jump up before I land.
And why do the females have to totter about painfully on tiptoes while the men just prance around imitating what seems to be the mating ritual of the Greater Madagascan Pelican.
However after about 20 minutes, more and more ballerinas started appearing on stage until it started to look like the swimsuit competition of the Miss Universe pageant. The 10 men however (ballerinos?) all seemed to be homosexual, with a 24-inch waist and tights that displayed the topography of Genitaland for all to see whether they are circumcised or not.
Two hours in, and I was losing the will to live. The random Vietnamese lady playing the cymbal who had three clashes to make in the whole performance had long fallen asleep and I just couldn't help wondering why ballerinas' movements always have to start in one direction before going in the intended direction in a big flourish. If they cut that out, the damn performance could be 10% shorter.
At first, I thought I had stumbled upon a sure fire way to make money - stage a ballet. I had paid 41 euro to watch a ballet at the Bastille in Paris and all I could think of during the first 'part' was trying to estimate the revenues - 800 people paying an average of 30 euros each... 24,000 euros a night.
The costs seemed small, apart from the rental of the venue. There was not a single prop, just three dancers prancing around in one-piece swimsuits, a conductor and a small orchestra. And I was paying their rent.
What exactly is the point of ballet - to show how flexible you are? Sure, some of the stuff is pretty impressive and I did catch myself wondering how many times I can spin around when I jump up before I land.
And why do the females have to totter about painfully on tiptoes while the men just prance around imitating what seems to be the mating ritual of the Greater Madagascan Pelican.
However after about 20 minutes, more and more ballerinas started appearing on stage until it started to look like the swimsuit competition of the Miss Universe pageant. The 10 men however (ballerinos?) all seemed to be homosexual, with a 24-inch waist and tights that displayed the topography of Genitaland for all to see whether they are circumcised or not.
Two hours in, and I was losing the will to live. The random Vietnamese lady playing the cymbal who had three clashes to make in the whole performance had long fallen asleep and I just couldn't help wondering why ballerinas' movements always have to start in one direction before going in the intended direction in a big flourish. If they cut that out, the damn performance could be 10% shorter.
